One of the nice things about our little site is that we sometimes get to bring you helpful tips along with the usual lineup of snarky posts. Today's lesson involves the proper way to keep someone from using/looking at your cellphone for either saving precious minutes or keeping those steamy convos with/pics of your mistress a secret. A bit of common sense would indicate that either removing the battery, the SIM card, or smashing the phone to bits are all good ways to accomplish this task, yet a woman in Kansas City felt that the best way of making her mobile inaccessible to her boyfriend was to put the whole damn thing in her mouth and swallow it. Not surprisingly, the cell got caught in her throat (this is why we buy RAZRs, people!) and she had to be rushed to the emergency room, where her condition is not currently known. We are looking forward to someone eventually lodging a phone in their nasal and ear cavities, so we'll have witnessed cells stuck in each and every human orifice during our lifetime.